If this was an episode of Scrubs it would be at this point that I'd hear my inner monologue pointing out the pitfalls in my life and how to overcome them.
There would probably be more slapstick comedy and a stuffed Labrador involved.
There's no Labrador around here.
As I'm sat in Green Park, there are quite a few painted elephants. If I looked up, I'm sure I'd see one of the French school kids inflicting another with some comedy pain.
I don't have time to do that.
I'm faced with a total Catch-22. I'm writing a feature on musicians gaining a following using novel methods. Methods that don't involve the internet/social networking. With the internet as my primary source and social networking saturated with basement musicians, it's too easy to waste time looking down that fruitless avenue.
What's that? Can I hear Dr Cox shouting at me in my subconscious?
Sorry to get your hopes up. Although I am involved in a programme called Catch-22 which is helping me through a Catch-22 situation, my name is not Yossarian.
Please do not confuse this man:
With this man:
One is a fictional American bomber pilot. The other is not. The other is an English writer, me.
This blog is about the latter. Not many people have written about me. I'm not the protagonist of one of the greatest books of the 20th Century. No matter how much I'd like to think we have in common.
The man:
"Who is this non-fictional man talking to me?" I hear you ask.
My name is Tim Horner. A London based Cornishman pursuing a career in journalism. I studied Journalism BA (Hons) at University College Falmouth where I achieved a 2:1, now it's time to prove my skills in the real world. You see? I'm nothing like Yossarian.
The mission:
Catch-22 has offered me the chance to put my skills to work in a learning environment which focuses on the end result. Basically, it's a route into journalism for those who can't or don't want to take the university route or don't have the required financial background to allow for an indefinite amount of time doing unpaid internships.
The academy is teaching me things that my degree didn't
The academy won't leave me with £xx,xxx's of debt
The academy has better links to the industry I want to get into
I don't have to write a DISSERTATION. I eventually enjoyed writing my dissertation at university. But I don't have time to write another. This is a good thing.
As a media graduate, I'm getting the best of both worlds. From the course I'm learning to better the skills I've already learnt, whilst feeling a little smug about already knowing things on the course curriculum. It's not all big headedness either, as it turns out I didn't learn everything at school. Even if I did, there's a fair chance some of it has slipped from my memory. (I am not saying I learnt everything at school. I got a 2:1. Remember?)
One of the course's strengths is that it gives students a chance to work on different areas within journalism. This allows us to get an idea of our strengths and weaknesses. So far on the course we've dabbled in interviewing and transcribing, pegs and angles, ethics and legalities, as well as my swotty favourite: subbing.
Can you guess what this week's tasks are focused around?
My experiences of journalism have yet to reach the heady heights of those that inspired me. But then, I'm not an employed journalist so I can't expect it to be as exciting as these guys have got it, yet:
So I invite you to keep up with the Heller task I've got on my hands. It's not going always going to be pretty. But I'm going to escape this Catch-22. Wait a second. Yossarian managed that (sorry to spoil the ending). Maybe we do have some things in common.
